Friday, March 07, 2008

On Anger

So why is it that I am so completely convinced on an emotional level that "nice girls don't get angry"?

On the rare occasions when anger breaks through my emotional facade, I shut it down instinctively. It usually isn't even a choice - the emotional damper system cuts in and I lose the perception of anger. But probably not the anger itself, or the consequences of unresolved anger - I imagine those linger on indefinitely.

Is it a fear of rejection? If I get angry, people won't love me anymore? Or a fear of hurting people - another big no-no in the "nice girls" category?

Now, I recognize that there are situations to which the only sane reaction is anger. But in the "nice girls don't get angry" credo, you still aren't allowed to show your anger. You can do things to alleviate the situation sure, to change the circumstances, but not by showing anger.

Where did this come from? How did I ever learn this?


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